Return of the Friend Request by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
Return of the Friend Request
Chapter One: Smoke and Shiny things Arwen: my people are leaving these shores, Aragorn's away...Peace, quiet, mulled wine, and the TV remote all to myself! Perfect.
Aragorn! being the one-who-will-be-King isn't nearly as impressive when there's an actual king around.
Gimli Sonofgloin: is afraid of the wood.
Aragorn!:...
Gimli Sonofgloin: well, that was impressive.
Aragorn!: I've never seen an elf laugh so hard he fell off his horse before.
Gimli Sonofgloin: the fact he hit his head on a tree makes me
Chapter One: Is nameless
Mister Frodo and Sam Gamgee are attending LAND OF SHADOW.
Merry Brandybuck: this can't be good...
Aragorn: is running
Gimli Sonogloin: hates running
Legolas Greenleaf: cos you have short legs lol
Legolas Greenleaf: Just is
Gimli Sonofgloin: Soooo original
Legolas Greenleaf: I know, I'm a deep elf.
Gimli Sonofgloin: that was *sarcasm*
Legolas Greenleaf and Gimli Sonofgloin are no longer friends.
Legolas Greenleaf: Gimli son of Gloin son of GROIN lol
Aragorn: great, really mature. Why don't you act your age?
Legolas Greenleaf: I AM acting my age.
Aragorn: So, what, 3000 in elf years is lik
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES
Chapter 1: Concerning Hobbits
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Bilbo Baggins: will shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday
Five friends are attending A PARTY OF SPECIAL MAGNIFICENCE
Gandalf Thegrey: Always arrives precisely when he means to.
Frodo Baggins: PARTY!!
Three people like this.
Pippin: WOOT
Frodo Baggins is a bit worried about his uncle
Merry Brandybuck: LOL
Frodo Baggins: Srsly, he's acting weird
Seven friends are attending A PARTY OF SPECIAL MAGNIFICENCE
Pippin Took: DRUNKING IS FUN FIREWRKS
Gandalf Thegrey: my fireworks
Grief
I am swimming
in the wake of the bluefilled waka
After staying up all night, banging the whiskey against the table and shouting
making a fool of myself. The gulls mock. The sky wheels.
Theres nothing for it
but a hangover clearing walk
alone beside the tide. To clear my throbbing head
of bad news and drowning blues, I
dive into the ocean, which sucks in its breath
against tender ribs.
Brimful blue. I am swimming.
I can hardly contain myself.
I am falling behind. Maybe
Im about to start drowning.
At first I dont quite grasp it but
mouthfuls of blue
become lungfuls. It hurts
deep inside, hamme
Diary of a Sullen Babysitter by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
Diary of a Sullen Babysitter
I am a sullen babysitter, thats my chosen path.
Well, when is say its chosen, that really is a laugh-
For its not so much a career choice as bloody desperation
When I gave up handing in CVs in absolute frustration.
I am good at what I do, I like to raid the larder.
You might complain of office jobs, but babysittings harder.
You have to be reliable, and sensible, and ready
to wash the vomit off your hair and crayon marks off teddy.
At least I get to raid the fridge, but even thats a joke
when its empty, but for carrots (dads a healthy sort of bloke).
And I swear Ill find a new job whe