Return of the Friend Request by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
Return of the Friend Request
Chapter One: Smoke and Shiny things Arwen: my people are leaving these shores, Aragorn's away...Peace, quiet, mulled wine, and the TV remote all to myself! Perfect.
Aragorn! being the one-who-will-be-King isn't nearly as impressive when there's an actual king around.
Gimli Sonofgloin: is afraid of the wood.
Aragorn!:...
Gimli Sonofgloin: well, that was impressive.
Aragorn!: I've never seen an elf laugh so hard he fell off his horse before.
Gimli Sonofgloin: the fact he hit his head on a tree makes me
Chapter One: Is nameless
Mister Frodo and Sam Gamgee are attending LAND OF SHADOW.
Merry Brandybuck: this can't be good...
Aragorn: is running
Gimli Sonogloin: hates running
Legolas Greenleaf: cos you have short legs lol
Legolas Greenleaf: Just is
Gimli Sonofgloin: Soooo original
Legolas Greenleaf: I know, I'm a deep elf.
Gimli Sonofgloin: that was *sarcasm*
Legolas Greenleaf and Gimli Sonofgloin are no longer friends.
Legolas Greenleaf: Gimli son of Gloin son of GROIN lol
Aragorn: great, really mature. Why don't you act your age?
Legolas Greenleaf: I AM acting my age.
Aragorn: So, what, 3000 in elf years is lik
5. Foes and Friend Requests by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
5. Foes and Friend Requests
Eight of your friends are attending LOTHLORIEN
Gimli Sonofgloin: This place gives me the creeps
Gimli Sonofgloin: THE TREES ARE STARING AT ME
Legolas Greenleaf: is happy to be back with the trees...
Haldir Of Lorien: Why do the weird hippie backpackers always try and enter Lothlorien on MY shift??
Mister Frodo and Samwise Gamgee are now friends with Galadriel.
Samwise Gamgee is no longer friends with Ted Sandyman
Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
Mister Frodo and Sam Gamgee like this. Gimli Sonofgloin became a fan of GALADRIEL
Galadriel: will diminish, and go into the west, and remain Galadri
4. Quest The Council To Moria by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
4. Quest The Council To Moria
Pippin Took: TOO MUCH SNOW wtf
Boromir Ofgondor: Lolz Hobbits are disappearing in the snow
Sam Gamgee: hopes Mister Frodo isn't too cold
Merry Brandybuck: WTF I"M COLD what about me??
Legolas Greenleaf: LOL mortals
Aragorn: Is leading the way and is MANLY
Gandalf Thegrey: the great Eye is ever watchful...
Gimli Sonofgloin became a fan of THE MINES OF MORIA.
Aragorn: Is so the man
Aragorn and Boromir Ofgondor became fans of AWESOME HACKING SKILLZ
Aragorn: manly and awesome hacking skills!
Aragorn and Boromir Ofgondor like this.
Boromir Ofgondor: yeah we showed that creepy octopus thing!
Pippin Took: so was that a Balrog??
Ga
Gandalf Thegrey: Ooops....
Gandalf Thegrey is no longer friends with Saruman Thewhite.
Merry Brandybuck: Let's have breakfast
Pippin Took likes this.Strider: You've already had it.
Pippin Took: can't believe that some people don't know about second breakfast :(
Sam Gamgee: OMG SCARY RINGWRAITHS!!
Mister Frodo: ARAAAARRRGHGHGH
Mister Frodo: Is in intense pain
Sam Gamgee: is concerned :(
Mister Frodo is now friends with Arwen Evenstar.
Glorfindel: Is sulking and feels left out
Arwen Evenstar: New to facebook lol
*suggest friends for Arwen*
Arwen Evenstar changed their gender to FEMALE
Arwen Evenstar changed her race to ELF
A
2. Frm Mshrooms 2 th Prncg Pny by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
2. Frm Mshrooms 2 th Prncg Pny
Merry Brandybuck: is picking Mushrooms
Pippin Took likes this.
Sam Gamgee: Never dropped no eaves!
Samwise Gamgee and Gandalf Thegrey are now friends.
Pippin Took: HOLY SHIT MIKL JACKSON DIED????!?!!
Gandalf Thegrey has things to do, people to see
Frodo Baggins: is going on a long journey
Sam Gamgee: Me too!!
Frodo Baggins changed his name to Frodo Underhill.
Sam Gamgee Likes this.
Sam Gamgee:is the furthest away from home he's ever been...
Frodo Underhill is now friends with Ringwraith 1.
Frodo Underhill is no longer friends with Ringwraith 1.
Frodo Underhill: i
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES
Chapter 1: Concerning Hobbits
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bilbo Baggins: will shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday
Five friends are attending A PARTY OF SPECIAL MAGNIFICENCE
Gandalf Thegrey: Always arrives precisely when he means to.
Frodo Baggins: PARTY!!
Three people like this.
Pippin: WOOT
Frodo Baggins is a bit worried about his uncle
Merry Brandybuck: LOL
Frodo Baggins: Srsly, he's acting weird
Seven friends are attending A PARTY OF SPECIAL MAGNIFICENCE
Pippin Took: DRUNKING IS FUN FIREWRKS
Gandalf Thegrey: my fireworks
Diary of a Sullen Babysitter by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
Diary of a Sullen Babysitter
I am a sullen babysitter, thats my chosen path.
Well, when is say its chosen, that really is a laugh-
For its not so much a career choice as bloody desperation
When I gave up handing in CVs in absolute frustration.
I am good at what I do, I like to raid the larder.
You might complain of office jobs, but babysittings harder.
You have to be reliable, and sensible, and ready
to wash the vomit off your hair and crayon marks off teddy.
At least I get to raid the fridge, but even thats a joke
when its empty, but for carrots (dads a healthy sort of bloke).
And I swear Ill find a new job whe
Return of the Friend Request by Aotearoan, literature
Literature
Return of the Friend Request
Chapter One: Smoke and Shiny things Arwen: my people are leaving these shores, Aragorn's away...Peace, quiet, mulled wine, and the TV remote all to myself! Perfect.
Aragorn! being the one-who-will-be-King isn't nearly as impressive when there's an actual king around.
Gimli Sonofgloin: is afraid of the wood.
Aragorn!:...
Gimli Sonofgloin: well, that was impressive.
Aragorn!: I've never seen an elf laugh so hard he fell off his horse before.
Gimli Sonofgloin: the fact he hit his head on a tree makes me
Chapter One: Is nameless
Mister Frodo and Sam Gamgee are attending LAND OF SHADOW.
Merry Brandybuck: this can't be good...
Aragorn: is running
Gimli Sonogloin: hates running
Legolas Greenleaf: cos you have short legs lol
Legolas Greenleaf: Just is
Gimli Sonofgloin: Soooo original
Legolas Greenleaf: I know, I'm a deep elf.
Gimli Sonofgloin: that was *sarcasm*
Legolas Greenleaf and Gimli Sonofgloin are no longer friends.
Legolas Greenleaf: Gimli son of Gloin son of GROIN lol
Aragorn: great, really mature. Why don't you act your age?
Legolas Greenleaf: I AM acting my age.
Aragorn: So, what, 3000 in elf years is lik
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES
Chapter 1: Concerning Hobbits
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Bilbo Baggins: will shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday
Five friends are attending A PARTY OF SPECIAL MAGNIFICENCE
Gandalf Thegrey: Always arrives precisely when he means to.
Frodo Baggins: PARTY!!
Three people like this.
Pippin: WOOT
Frodo Baggins is a bit worried about his uncle
Merry Brandybuck: LOL
Frodo Baggins: Srsly, he's acting weird
Seven friends are attending A PARTY OF SPECIAL MAGNIFICENCE
Pippin Took: DRUNKING IS FUN FIREWRKS
Gandalf Thegrey: my fireworks
Grief
I am swimming
in the wake of the bluefilled waka
After staying up all night, banging the whiskey against the table and shouting
making a fool of myself. The gulls mock. The sky wheels.
Theres nothing for it
but a hangover clearing walk
alone beside the tide. To clear my throbbing head
of bad news and drowning blues, I
dive into the ocean, which sucks in its breath
against tender ribs.
Brimful blue. I am swimming.
I can hardly contain myself.
I am falling behind. Maybe
Im about to start drowning.
At first I dont quite grasp it but
mouthfuls of blue
become lungfuls. It hurts
deep inside, hamme
once i asked you your favourite
colour, and you said, "the brown
of your eyes," so i put in one green
contact and told everyone that i
came out of the womb as a factory
defect, half-priced, damaged goods.
-
sometimes i am from canada and
sometimes i am from england and
sometimes i am from spain.
i've carefully tempered my accents
and plotted out my stories with
yellow and purple coloured pencils
on index cards. my origin changes
like the seasons.
"why do you lie to everyone?" you
ask.
"why not?" i reply.
-
i wear nametags that read "alicia"
and "liana" and "samantha," because
i want to know how it feels to be
someon
Just to let people know that you can read the first part - the Fellowship of the Facebook here
and the second and third parts of the trilogy (not on DeviantART) have gone up:
Treebeard: isn't hasty.
Pippin Took took the quiz "How Likely Are you To Survive Being Captured by Orcs?"
Pippin Took is 34% likely to Survive. *Share this result with your friends*
You are small and not really a warrior. You've never been captured by Orcs before, and you're not sure it's really for you. Even if you do escape, you are likely to be lost far from home and will need a friend. You will need to keep your wits about you and make use of anything you find t